My Birthday: I cried, smiled and cried again....

My Birthday: I cried, smiled and cried again....

This is my most intimate birthday yet, fewer messages, more meaning, more peace, more laughter and of course, more tears. The sweetest and most reflective day of my life yet and no, there was no surprise party.

I am struggling to write this and I hope that at the end, you can feel the joy and the warmness that I am feeling right now. Oh man! The best way to do this is to tell the story chronologically and I will.

The 9^th of July 2018 among other things was my birthday and to be honest, I did not look forward to it. For me, it was a Monday and screamed work, work, work!!! Well, that was until I woke up at about 2:00am and saw messages from my best friends and my sister wishing me a happy birthday at exactly 12 midnight.

My God! It wasn’t the thought; it was the words that got me warm. These people bluntly told me how wonderful it is to have me as a friend and the pains too which is the fact that I will never let you rest until you got out of your comfort zone. Of course, they didn’t forget the jabs and the pokes. I took them all in and just soaked in my tears. If those were going to be my only wishes, they were worth it.

But there was no way my parents were going to come last. My mother beat my dad this year and called first and she prayed and prayed till.... Well, my dad followed suit and my siblings. I felt like a queen. The prayers, the words, the delivery! Oh give me the crown already. 

By the time I was on my way to work, another friend called to remind me of all my ‘wahala’ but how she loved me regardless. The rivers started to flow and I had to struggle to keep dry eyes all the way to the office. But, heck, they were all just getting started.

More messages poured in, my parents and siblings and friends went on Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp status to wish me a happy birthday with deep words that echoed all the principles that I have always lived by. My eyes watered, dried and went through the process over and over again till my face contorted in that middle expression between crying and smiling. Could the day get any better?

One last voice note before I slept sealed the deal and prompted this post. My fellow musketeer and dearest friend who was the first to send his wishes, made sure he was the last with a solid and emotional voice message. Kuku kill me guys.

He told me how lucky he was to have me as his friend and God has a plan for all of us and none of us met by chance. He urged me to keep being myself and if my love for people and seeing them achieve purpose is my biggest flaw, it is a flaw that he has accepted. Anita, don’t stop being you. This ‘you’ is enough.

That last message led me here to share the things I learnt on my birthday.

1.       Nothing beats peace: If you follow my blog, I have talked about how I was constantly afraid of failing people and myself. From a very young age, I realised how much talent and gifts God had put in me and it scared me. I did not want to fail him, I wanted to utilise every gift and talent so much that I was hurting myself and the people around me. I have found peace in the acknowledgement that God always makes a way and he would never test you beyond your limits. His gifts are for him and in due time and season, he will make them manifest and work for his glory. It’s your job to work, breathe and love. This peace that I have found is untradeable. I am never letting it go.

2.      Friends and family are underrated: These days, more people are deciding to be by themselves, minding their own businesses and refusing to understand the importance of human relationships. You are missing. I am not huge on the friendship concept and I don’t have a truck of them but the ones that I have are ride or die. Through thin and thick (error is deliberate), they have stayed and lived with me. From the oldest friend to the ones I made a few days ago. Perfecto. And please, let me not get started on the importance of family. Please call your friends and family and be genuinely interested in them. Live, Love and Laugh.

3.     Accept that you are flawed, trust me, you won’t die: Every birthday before now, since my tenth birthday, I would take stock of all the things I achieved the year before and feel terrible that I did very little. Because of that, I would not be joyous enough to enjoy the celebrations. I wanted perfect but I am freaking flawed, hello! that sounds human right! Sure, it does! Exactly, what I am telling you now. You are flawed, own it. You can only strive to be better but don’t beat yourself up. And guess what! This year that I didn’t take stock, I had a bomb celebration and I was able to soak in all the good wishes and criticisms without feeling inadequate.

4.     Keep working on yourself but don’t lose ‘You’: I hope this makes sense to you. For a long time, I thought that I was a terrible person and unbearable because I had few friends and people got uneasy around me. It’s the way I am, I will disturb you till you make something wonderful out of yourself. You can’t be with me and let your dreams, aspirations and talents sleep. It was true that all along my intentions were noble but were my methods great? No! I had to realise that the best way to help people be better is to wholeheartedly accept them in their messiness. When that realisation kicked in, I began to chill and relax and let people be human while I corrected and moulded with all the love in my heart. I started to really work on myself and learn that the world does not hate me or despise me. I began to smile more, laugh and just be normal. But, hey I didn’t lose myself, the very essence of Anita. You don’t have to lose you; you just have to be a better ‘You’. I love you guys.